Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would
wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions —
motion, speech, self-awareness — shut down one by one. An astonishing
story.
This book was recommended for our family to read. My sister and I are sitting here listening to the TED talk that featured the author, Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. There is so much to learn and understand just what our Dad has gone through and is currently going through. Just skimming through there is one section that caught my eye. It has brought me insight and thought it would be good to share with all those who are following my Dad's recovery.
40 Things I Needed Most
1. I
am not stupid, I am wounded. Please respect me.
2. Come
close, speak slowly, and enunciate clearly.
3. Repeat
yourself—assume I know nothing and start from the beginning, over and over.
4. Be
as patient with me the twentieth time you teach me something as you were the
first.
5. Approach
me with an open heart and slow your energy down. Take your time.
6. Be
aware of what your body language and facial expressions are communicating to
me.
7. Make
eye contact with me. I am in here—come find me. Encourage me.
8. Please
don’t raise your voice—I’m not deaf, I’m wounded.
9. Touch
me appropriately and connect with me.
10. Honor
the healing power of sleep.
11. Protect
my energy. No talk radio, TV, or nervous visitors! Keep visitation brief (five
minutes).
12. Stimulate
my brain when I have any energy to learn something new, but know that a small
amount may wear me out quickly.
13. Use
age-appropriate (toddler) educational toys and books to teach me.
14. Introduce
me to the world kinesthetically. Let me feel everything. (I am an infant
again.)
15. Teach
me with monkey-see, monkey-do behavior.
16. Trust
that I am trying—just not with your skill level or on your schedule.
17. Ask
me multiple-choice questions. Avoid Yes/No questions.
18. Ask
me questions with specific answers. Allow me time to hunt for an answer.
19. Do
not assess my cognitive ability by how fast I can think.
20. Handle
me gently, as you would handle a newborn.
21. Speak
to me directly, not about me to others.
22. Cheer
me on. Expect me to recover completely, even if it takes twenty years!
23. Trust
that my brain can always continue to learn.
24. Break
all actions down into smaller steps of action.
25. Look
for what obstacles prevent me from succeeding on a task.
26. Clarify
for me what the next level or step is so I know what I am working toward.
27. Remember
that I have to be proficient at one level of function before I can move on to
the next level.
28. Celebrate
all of my little successes. They inspire me.
29. Please
don’t finish my sentences for me or fill in words I can’t find. I need to work
my brain.
30. If
I can’t find an old file, make it a point to create a new one.
31. I
may want you to think I understand more than I really do.
32. Focus
on what I can do rather than bemoan what I cannot do.
33. Introduce
me to my old life. Don’t assume that because I cannot play like I used to play
that I won’t continue to enjoy music or an instrument, etc.
34. Remember
that in the absence of some functions, I have gained other abilities.
35. Keep
me familiar with my family, friends, and loving support. Build a collage wall
of cards and photos that I can see. Label them so I can review them.
36. Call
in the troops! Create a healing team for me. Send word out to everyone so they
can send me love. Keep them abreast of my condition and ask them to do specific
things to support me—like visualize me being able to swallow with ease or
rocking my body up into a sitting position.
37. Love
me for who I am today. Don’t hold me to being the person I was before. I have a
different brain now.
38. Be
protective of me but do not stand in the way of my progress.
39. Show
me old video footage of me doing things to remind me about how I spoke, walked,
and gestured.
40. Remember
that my medications probably make me feel tired, as well as mask my ability to
know what it feels like to be me.
My
Stroke of Insight, A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey
–Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.